My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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