I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
