My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize