she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
