Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
