your thong is hanging out like whoa
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
