That's when you crack a 10am beer
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
