I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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