Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
