i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Did you pee in the oven last night??
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
