May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
