One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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