The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
