just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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