still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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