If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
