would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize