i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
