Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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