So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
