Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
