And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize