I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
