nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
