you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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