I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
