Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize