So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
