chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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