Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
