when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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