You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
