sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
