i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
