Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
