3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
