he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
