Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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