Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
