I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
pray to the hookup gods
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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