What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
another moral hangover. fuck.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
