Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
