Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
