He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
