im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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