my phone needs a breathalizer
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
