She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize