woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
