If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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