so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
