Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My feet surprised me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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