I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Randomize
