I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize