After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
