check it out our google latitudes are spooning
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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