Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
