You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
