His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
