he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
