You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Someone came in the potted fern
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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