"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
