just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
