its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I lost the right to judge tonight
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
