so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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