Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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