Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
