I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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