I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I FOUND THE LEGS
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
