so let's talk penis.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
