So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
